Enter the Drag Queens aka. The Brides of Dracula, or any bride who doesn’t read this warning (well it sure looks like it when you see some of the make-ups done in this town )….. Deal With it, My blog my opinion..

Hello Skinlovers!

Grammas back after a period of quiet but not calmness.

As we enter the warmer days, and the silly season approaches (there are two silly seasons and both deal with weddings, there;s summer and the rush before Ramadan if it happens to fall in June or July. Then there’s the Fall/Winter one just as bad).

Now I have mentioned this before in previous posts but I thought I would go over it again. There’s a sort of disconnect and short-circuiting that happens in a girls brain when she is getting married. First there’s the barrage of “EXPERT” opinions about the hair the make up and place settings and more. Suddenly everyone has a phd in event management and they think they are the doyennes of style and taste, and woe betide the young lady that crosses any of them.
My advice is to hush up about it, find yourself a wedding planner who understands you and leave everything to them because you will avoid a lot of troubles and headaches.

Anyway back to my field of expertis (you know this is going to be mud-flinging, actually more like a mudslide). 😀
I keep on harping on about the different looks we have in this town.
First let me define a bride and what she is supposed to be:
A bride should be innocent, demure, beautiful and glowing, and mainly natural.

Here’s what the reality is:
The bride of Frankenstein, Vampira, a distant relative of respectively Groucho, Bozo or Pennywise the clown.
A lot of the brides are unrecognisable on their wedding day, they wind up looking like a Bunsen Burner exploded in their face and left soot all over it (ladies learn this Haifa Wahbbe is the only one who can bear the Haifa wehbbe look).

There’s also the “Explosion in a Paint factory” you’ve all seen that one, it’s when the “Make-up artist” (I use that term generously here) decides to use every damned colour in their kit on the poor victims face.  I mean seriously EVERY single shade is use on the eyes.

We also have “An explosion in a Botanic Garden” the girls leave the hairdressers with half a nursery on their head, disregarding the ungodly amount of hair pins and spray in that hair, it becomes so stiff that you can actually use it as a musical instrument.

Not to forget the infamous “Explosion in a broom factory” you know the one, it is where the girl leaves the make up artist and she has bristles stuck to her eyes worthy of any scrubber or broomstick, and they think it enhances the eyes, well, maybe a good quality one does but the ones used in most cases are cheap chinese (no offence intended to the Chinese).

A lot of time the so-called artists have no clue what is elegant and what is not, and you cannot blame them. Not bein classicist here but many of them get their inspiration from some stupid films where the person working on said films has no clue whatsoever, it irks me.
Then you have the silly geese daring to say the girls need heavy make up so they can stand-out in pictures (MY DEARS THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING OUTSTANDING AND BEING AN EYESORE) I strongly suggest that every girl who is going to get married get herself a trial run before, believe me you do not want nasty surprises.
You need to tell your make-up artist the direction you are going in.
You also need to take care of your skin, it is a two way street, in order for the make up artist to do a magnificent job, they need a surface free of bumps and scaly skin, that means you stay out of the sun a week before (yes I am talking to you girls who go sunbathing just before the wedding, then get burnt, and skin flakes and we are left to perform iracles, and some have the nerve to get uppitty if it isn’t perfection, like I say it’s a make up brush not an effing magic wand!).

Now for colours (and this is my own personal preference not gospel law), I do not believe in RED lipsticks as a full block of colour on their lips. A thin wash of red (a transparent Red) is okay but it has to be a bit glossy not much but a little bit (a dewy look if you will).
Rainbow bright neon colours are NEVER suitable for a bride. Black that dreaded BLACK (although it is my favourite) I say to girls if you are fair then avoid it, it is better to use Charcoal, Dark Green, Dark Blues basically Dark anything, because a line of Purest Darkest Black and we are over in the Goth dimension (which I also adore but not for a bride, you get what I am saying) if your skin colour is dark and tanned then the same rule applies but you can define the lash line with a pure black.
DO NOT sit in front of a professional and start to say this colour doesn’t suit me, or this look doesn’t suit me because you will only antagonise the artist (well me at least, this kind of behaviour makes me want to smack people with the largest brush I have). It’s not the Colour itself that doesn’t suit but the tone and intensity used (that is why if a make up artist hasn’t got an art background they are useless usually, you need a 101 of colour theory at least, I am not saying you should be a fantastic draughtsman but a little bit of art  and colour must figure in).

Rules were made to be broken that I do believe, but not when it comes to being a bride, the time for experimentation is in the trial-run, and then you lock down the look, that said, on the day after you show the artist your dress, the artist might suggest a few tweaks here and there, and maybe a slight change in intensity, they might be inspired (I always say to my clients that this is the basic look and we can add subtract as we see fit on the day according to our mood) but never a drastic change.

I have seen brides worthy of rejects from RuPaul’s Drag Race (look it up). I seriously think there’s a whole dimension of bad taste masquerading as artistry out there, I advise girls who come to me for help. Who does your hair and has always done it, then stick to them, there is nothing more insulting to a person working on your hair and face than you deciding that they are not good enough for your special day, that is down-right rude and insulting, and my advice if you do that, then do not attempt to contact said hairdresser or make-up artist ever again, you have been warned.
I personally take it as an attack on my professionalism and that’s where my professionalism stops, I become vindictive ( of course there are exception, if the brides mother is veiled and they need a female artist, that is understandable but only then, other than that your excuses are like verbal agreements not worth the paper they are written on).

Colours for brides are very subjective, but the basid red-line through it all is, innocence, modesty, fresh, Dewy, long-lasting (except for the lips long lasting lipsticks are hell on the lips and can or may start to flake and look horrible, advice DO NOT change the colour of the lips drastically, instead enhance the colour and tweak it so if it fades the natural lip is there but you do not have to worry about discolouration).

What you want out of a bridal make up is this:
Long-Lasting.
Barely any colour change. I like my make-ups to stay the same no need for the whole “Let’s make it darker for the night thing (which I find nonsensical).
You want to look like yourself.
You want to be a glowing vision of beauty.

You need this check list:
Eat well, eat healthy.
Get your nutrients from your food.
Do not try any new haircolour before the wedding
Facials 2 weeks before to give your skin time to calm down (if you haven’t done one before in your life this is NOT the time to start).
Drink 8 glasses of water/ liquids you need to be well-hydrated.
DON’T GO SUNBATHING A WEEK BEFORE NOR 3 DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING THAT”S JUST INSANE, IF YOU GET BURNT WE ARE LEFT TO DEAL WITH YOUR STUPIDITY AND THAT MAKES US IRRITATED.
Moisturise moisturise moisturise, you just have to keep your skin plump. If your skin is well moisturised that means we do not have to put hundreds of layers to make it look good. Healthy skin means less foundation and 1 less thing to worry about.

Remember your Sunblock.

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A Classic look. Can work for brides (althought there are lashes and loads of them too).Jean-Shrimpton-2 (1)

 

Although I love Vampiras Look, it is not suited for a bride, and trust me some do look like that. 😀

 

Vampira

 

If you don’t moisturise this will be what your skin feels like, also it will be sensitive, so whomever touches your skin whether wih a spnge or brush will irritate it, and that you do NOT want.

 

Last huamn

 

 

This is a fresh faced bare nude clean look, it is ideal for a lot of people, but here in this town (Amman-Jordan) a lot of women feel the need for a painted masque whether by own conviction or because some numpty has convinced them it is fashionable and trendy.Christy Bare

 

Okay forget the pastel pink beneath the eye this is really close to a lovely bridal make up, the pastel thing beneath the eye makes her look ill so advisory is not to do it. O and the nails definitely a No-No, keep to the French Manicure and you cannot go wrong! 😀

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Areil and her fork this look can do but without the eyeliner in the eye and the thick dark shadow beneath the eye too.

Ariel

 

This can pass and it doesn’t look over-done fresh and lovely.

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And for those of you who insist there is this look a smokey brown that is passable but you have to have the eye for it.

138942-bridal-makeup-styles

 

Another fresh face with a darker line on the lash line seems passable.

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For the girls who shudder at the thought of wearing make up here you go a barely there version.

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Totally in love with this look, very few can pull it off, you skin has to be immaculate and all your features proportional, but hey we are miracle worker at time and can make it all happen. 🙂

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Above all else you do not want to have to think about it, your make-up once in place and set properly shouldn’t be your main focus, instead you should concentrate on having a great time and enjoying the moment. Your make up should stay put even if you jumped into a swimming pool 8 hours later, yes that has happened and the bride still looked freashly done.
Now that is the art of bridal make-up learn , live it and for heaven’s sake just enjoy the moment and stop fussing, it’s just a huge party after all, and they will remember having a good time instead of a bride in a hissy-fit.

Go forth and have a blast now be jolly.

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About descantia

A melting pot of contradictions! Artist, Designer (most media), Copywriter, Thespian, Chanteuse, Dancer, Performance artist, Make-up artist and so much more... The penultimate liberal hedonist with conservative leanings! Exacting, free, libertine with a Courtesan mentality! Honest, blunt, viciously unkind when dealing with fools, ingrates, liars, and any deceivers. Detests: Hypocrisy, Disloyalty, Infidelity, Stupidity, Anyone Devoid of Morals Ethics and decent manners and behaviour. Loves being a Snarky Grumpy Bitter Old Elitist!
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