Delving into archivals again, I was struck by how little things change, and how so many things we experience are simply a matter of HIstory repeating itself. We are human we are fallible….
So here you go from 2010 and funnily enough it is still valid:
Mz. V. July 2010.
Men are shallow creatures and women are worriers simple fact of life!
While men go through life in a gung-ho spirit women will be worrying about the specifics.
Drugs are a curse and addiction is a disease, you mustn’t judge the addicts to harshly it happens, after all before you start spouting venom about an addict, ponder this: If you light up a cigarette, if you need that morning coffee or tea, if you can’t go out without drinking alcohol… Welcome to the world of addiction, you too are an addict! The only difference it is a socially acceptable addiction, and an excellent money maker. So don’t judge lest ye be judged too and found lacking!
My life is empty without you?
Q:Dear Miss V.
I am a recovering cocaine addict and have been clean for about six months; I went abroad to school and fell in with a bad crowd. Most of my friends take coke, so I had to distance myself from them. The few friends I had who weren’t into drugs no longer want to know me, as coke turned me into a very selfish person. Without drugs I’ve realised I have little else in my life. My job is mundane and I don’t know who I am any more. How can I rebuild my life?
A: Dear Emptiness.
First of all, good on you for realising that taking cocaine is an idiots game (an expensive one at that!). You should feel proud of yourself – being clean for 6 months is a great achievement.
But it is not surprising that you are feeling rather empty. Cocaine is a greedy drug and takes up your whole life. Now you have to fill that gap up and you should seize the opportunity with both hands. You’ve done right by cutting all ties with ‘former’ friends who are still users. It would be insanity to continue to mix with them. At the moment. I know the future doesn’t look all that rosy, but things will get better. Now that your head is cleared, it’s time to get a better job. Look around for something more interesting. What about taking a course in something you’re passionate about? If your old (drug-free) friends won’t talk to you, drop them an email saying how sorry you are for your behaviour.
Be honest and sincere. It will take time to change things and you will have to prove yourself worthy of their forgiveness by making amends, but whatever happens please do not be tempted to go back to using cocaine. ANd this is just a short version of how to begin….
I’m NEVER Happy!
Q: Dear Ms. V.
NO matter what’s happening in my life, I am never happy. If everything is going well, I’m on edge in case it goes wrong, and I don’t feel comfortable until something does go wrong. So despite having a great husband and children, I am only happy when I am miserable.
A: Dear Misery!
You are a walking talking self-fulfilling prophecy!
For all intents and appearances you seem to be a born worrier, and there are lots of people like you. You can identify the breed by their compulsion to search for something to worry about when life’s going to smoothly for them.
Unless it rubs off on the people around you, makes them edgy, and is debilitating and/or paralysing you from living a satisfying life, your worrying isn’t doing any great harm. But, if it is doing the above, you might be suffering from more serious. I think it is just a simple case of stress and anxiety. If you want to help stop anxiety take a course in relaxation, like yoga or meditation. Or if sitting around holding your breath irritates you even more, I advise going to a shooting range and learning how to use a gun, there’s nothing like blasting a few holes in a target, I find that that really releases all my pent-up frustrations, besides it empowers to.
If that does not help, the only other advice I can give is to get professional psychiatric help not a psychologists but psychiatric (with all respect to the psychologists out there).
Packaging and presentation!
Q: Dear Diva Velour!
I have this problem with my make-up and especially my foundation. It never lasts in the summer weather, I put on my foundation and a few minutes later it has faded, what can I do to make my face last without it fading?
A: Dear Fade (makes you sound like a man!) 😀
Depending on the condition of your skin, and its tone, to simplify things I will divide it into two categories, the Pale Face (my tone) and the Dusky Diva.
The Pale faced Diva:
Since it is summer I suggest you go with a powder foundation with SPF, applied with a large powder brush. Swirl your brush in the foundation and apply liberally on your face this is excellent for oily skin. The colour should be two shades darker than your natural skin-tone, why because you want to give the appearance of a tan (remember your ears & neck, you do not want to look as if you are wearing a mask!), also invest in a bronzer or a shimmer in dark gold both will serve as a blusher and eye-shadow.
The Dusky Diva:
Who’s a lucky girl then (I hate you, I can’t tan I burn!), anyways you girls out there with the dark skin and the ability to tan after just five seconds in the sun. You can get away with anything! My advice is shimmer (okay if you have oily skin tone it down and only apply it on your cheeks), the same advice as given to ‘Pale faces’ applies to you, but in this case only one shade darker, and applied in the same way.
The advice I can give you if you have oily skin is this: Use a Mattifying cream/lotion as a base, if you want you can also mix a bit of oil free- foundation to make your own tinted moisturiser, make sure it has an SPF in it. In general avoid liquid foundations. And remember long- lasting usually means from eight to sixteen hours, heat and humidity notwithstanding. Also give your face a good spraying with hairspray to set the powder, but be sure your face is evenly covered with powder (remember to powder your eyelids).
There are things like BB creams for oily skin if you want extra staying power I use those as primers sometimes….
Happiness that elusive rare creature, sometimes I see it is a mythical being, sort- of like the perfect soul-mate or man! Increase your self-esteem and boost your confidence, you are good enough, you do count, and yes O yes you are a fabulous individual and let NO ONE take THAT away from you.
No man or woman has the right to be the judge of what’s right for you or me, they are not in our heads, and least of all they are not in our beds late at night when we have gone home and locked the doors. Rely on yourself because in the end you are the only one who counts, love yourself then you can love others!
Happy Summer be safe and remember your sun-block!