Once again I delved into the archivals (and I hope this isn’t a repeat) this time from way back in 2005, humanity has had the same problems since time immemorial so it is nothing bu t a little bit of history repeating itself…….
So here we go from the archives of MIzz V for your reading pleasure:
Dear Miss V
My boyfriend/fiancée keeps criticising me, telling me how to wear my hair, colour it and now he’s telling me I need to have corrective surgery, what should I do?
My dear little confused one! DUMP THE JERK!
How dare he tell you anything at all, I mean he went out with you for a reason, didn’t he? Where does this idiot get the idea that his opinion is required, darling, his acceptance and opinions are neither required nor desired.
Get out of this relationship PRONTO! It’s an unhealthy one.
Go out there and find someone who loves you for being you, and not someone who hates women and is a closet case and actually is jealous of that fabulous creature that is you. And let me guess he looks like Brad Pitt! (NOT!)
Let me tell you my dears, this is one thing that really irritates me, how some men try to undermine your self-confidence in order for them to appear better. Do not let them do it! They got attracted to you for a reason, or am I mistaken? Besides he thinks he’s all that, get a mirror and put him in front of it, and start pointing out his faults, and let’s see how he likes it. He says you should be a blonde; tell him that he should get a hair transplant etc. You get the gist.
Q. Dear V.
I have a small problem, my husband and I have been married for 6 years our relationship is fantastic, but, his mother keeps on interfering in our lives. Example: She came over a few weeks back, and told us she had bought us new dining room furniture (I should be happy but her taste isn’t mine, she likes gilded and gaudy while I like minimalism!), she’s a darling, but so nosy and domineering how can I tell her to back off in a nice way?
That’s Mz.V to you!
The road to hell is paved with good intentions!
The poor dear is sooo desperate for attention and doesn’t know how to go about getting it in a healthy way. She’s feeling ignored maybe and wants to be a bigger part of your life. (Now that I’ve got rid of my bleeding heart liberal sentiments!) Darling Nip it in the bud before it spirals even more out of control!
Take the dear out to dinner/coffee/brunch at least once or twice a week, maybe go shopping with her, set aside some quality time for her, go get facials and do your hair together (your treat).
When shopping point out the things you think are tasteful and suit your décor, she’ll eventually get the hint. If she doesn’t try and tell her gently or not, that your tastes are different, if she still doesn’t get it, tell her bluntly that you’d rather have the money and buy the things you’d like to have (not the best route, but effective).
Mind you she might take offence, which you cannot help, but at least you’d have cleared the air. But ask yourself this; is it worth the family feud? You say she’s a darling, do you really want to alienate her?
Try and talk things out with her on neutral territory and maybe you can reach an amicable understanding. If not then ask her for the receipts on the stuff she buys so you can exchange them if necessary, and maybe then she’ll get the general idea.
Q. Dearest Mz. Velour,
I’m getting married next month, and now I’m getting cold feet, there’s just so much pressure on us, I want to elope and get away from it all. Both sides of the family are driving me insane with the dinners and social obligations, what can I do, it’s getting to me, I feel like calling the whole thing off!
Yours Going Slightly Mad.
Dear Going Slightly Mad,
Ha! You asked for it! (Just kidding!).
It isn’t like you didn’t know it was going to happen. Puh-Lease! In our society once you announce the fact that you want to get engaged, you lose all control of your life, both sides of the families will step in and arrange your life for you, whether you like it or not, you have been reduced to the status of a minor who doesn’t know what is good for them! And all that before you’ve even set the date for the wedding. The only advice I can give is to start medicating yourself with anti-anxiety or anti-depressants because it sure isn’t going to get easier with time, the closer you get to the date of the wedding the more stress and anxiety you will experience. Try and make a deal with your family and in-laws to be, i.e. X amount of functions a week, and a whole day off with no mention off the up-coming nuptials, if you want a simple wedding state it and do not budge an inch, invite only the closest members of the family and friends to the dinner, and all the social pay-backs to the reception. Try and plan for all worse case scenarios, the flowers and all the other stuff well ahead of time.
Do not try and be experimental just before the wedding. Remember to breathe deeply and count to thirteen before giving anyone a reply to anything. Also remember that this is your day and remind yours and his family of that, and if their fragile egos are bruised so be it at least you’ll have peace of mind, also remember that you are going to forget to invite some people you love to the wedding, but you can always phone them and say you’d rather have them over for an intimate candle lit dinner where you’ll have more ability to enjoy their company.
My dear this is a day to remember but it is after all just another day with a twist (think honeymoon), you’ll have your whole life together (if all goes well!) and if things didn’t quite go as planned on the day, laugh it off, because there are worse things that could happen, so be happy you snagged your love-bug and enjoy the day with a certain sense of nonchalance.