Here we are again. Spring is supposedly around the corner, we have sunshine following a much needed 3 days on none-stop rain (which is good for the crops in the valley, now if only we had had decent dams to collect said bounty, O well!).
This weather is the flu weather because the sun shines everyone thinks wow now it is time to wear light clothes and they reel in horror when it turns cold and they get sick, DUH! It is known that our weather is insane at this time until May. We can have multiple season in one day, as an example I cite the other day. It was cloudy, foggy heavy torrential rains thunder, then it was light and sunny then again the rain with hail… Go figure, just like our society with an identity crisis so our weather reflects the same, what fun! 😀
My skin has started to go it’s usual berserk when the weather shifts, I break out like a teenager all over again… Another reason to hate sunny weather…….
So in the continuing tradition of my musings here we go, more thoughts from my dismembered soul…..
I was looking around and stumbled across this word, a lovely little word yet so strong in its meaning, and reflects a lot of what I think about the majority (not I said majority of modern abstract art), that word is APOTROPAIC this mean when something is created deliberately ugly, example a Gargoyle. Now unfortunately a lot of Art is created with the thought of it being beautiful and unique (Damien Hirst is an exception), but it winds up embodying that exact word. Yes, I am sure people find my art in the same vein, and actually go as far as to describe it as Grotesque which I don’t mind, this liberates me, gives me license to critique others too, one good turn obviously deserves another, also I am of the firm belief that artists and people who studied art should not be allowed to critique other artists work, bringme a layman who knows nothing of art and let them gaze upon art there youwill find the truth whether it is pleasing or not.
We are inspired. Yes we are we are inspired to see the world for what it is. Attraction, Repulsion, & Compulsion.
People have lost that touch of authenticity, they waddle around bleating how bored they are (when you hear a teenager saying that you want to gently place your hands around their neck and wring it slowly!), seriously this generation of bratty, spoilt, spoilt, conceited, over-bearing, silly, and entitled kids really get up my nose, what the hell are the parents doing to foster these creatures who will break at the first sign of trouble, they think the world owes them everything. No dears the fact that you are still breathing should be enough for you, and your so-called freedoms are priveleges not rights, you need to earn them.
And this completely insane thing of trying to solve everything with violence, schoolkids being shot at or stabbed, Doctors being beaten (well, one can understand the compulsion what with a lot of these md’s and their God complexes) but physical violence is till not allowed, teachers getting beaten up because the kids failed, seriously what is going on inour society (I am bitching about Jordan not comparing it with anywhere else spare me the “It’s going on all over the world” that is not my concern, my immediate and pressing concern is here in this country of ours, that is what I am interested in. And where are the police, crime rates have soared, robberies, violent crimes, and embezzlement risen to specatacular levels, and where are they.
The ombudsman hasn’t been able to put the major culprits to the corruption courts and anti-corruption boards because no one knows why? Instead they are going after the low-levelled crimes while the double digit millions are going scot-free. O well that is a whole different kettle of fish.
We are a country of contradictions, we claim to foster investment in the country and at the same time tax and destroy home-grown businesses out of existence with false promises and hidden taxes and fees, which even the tax department cannot explain citing as an example for the business KULACOM and for the taxes the “Special Tax” on the bills. It is insane how many grrants and how much money we lost due to our drowning in bureaucratic sewage, it is amazing the grants come and the people who are in charge screw it up because they do not want to work, and if they do they are work numptys who are so rigid that they again screw up everything, imagine an NGO which has diplomatic status were nearly asked that their delegates pay taxes on their personal effects, yes you read it right they wanted to tax expats on their personal belongings… And that my dears is the tip of the Iceberg.
We are at the moment living in a powder keg and giving of sparks…
Unless you are living under a rock (or in middle-America where Fox news isyour only reliable source of news) you would have hear of the Jordanian judge who was killed at a border crossing going over to Palestine/Israel (you choose your name for it), well the Jordanian Parliament voted to kick out the Israeli Ambassador and nullify some treaties. THe situation is indeed dire when our parliament does that but they supposedly reflect the will of the people, the parliament has given the government an ultimatum to act upon their directive or the government will have a vote of no confidence from the parliament and that is not good.
What is more amazing within that week of the judge being assassinated (because that was what it was he was unarmed, and no matter what he did he was still unarmed and there were more than one Israeli soldier, o and the security cameras weren’t working supposedly, and the ISraeli’s claim though all the eyewitnesses confirm the opposite that the judge was threatening. Also in that same week there were others killed on the borders, also the Israelis bombed a densely populated area in Gaza) and that was the news. It is still fascinating how the world turns around and says to the plaestinians you have to calm down, you are over-reacting again (even if they were do you blame them they are frustrated by the collusion they feel is going on by the world kowtowing to Israel). Politics is a dirty game.
When you talk about the region you cannot help but get the reaction of frustration. Example a few months after signing an agreement with Jordan that Jordan would be responsible for the Islamic sites and their protection, Israelis bring it up in the Knesset that they want to nullify it (whic goes with their trying to dismantle and destroy the sites, just so you know they are tunnelling under the dome of rock hopoing it will collapse by itself), anyway, it shows exactly the kind of behaviour we expect fro Israel, they haven’t kept a single deal they signed to, and also they have thumbed their noses at every decision made by the UN against them (they number in excess of 200) and they keep on going back on their agreements, the halting of settlments building, the borders of 1967 (which unfortunately include Jerusalem which they are trying to claim as their capitol whichis also blatantly wrong), and the list goes on and on. No need to go into that now, for those interested look it up online but do not rely on one source,
On confessions, we all know that confessions and baring your sould does not solve anything. Simple fact and a sad-but-truism. This need for expressing and confessing every little detail of your life in a public forum (Whoa! Isn’t that what I am doing here? Aaaaah the joys of double-standards, wot?), where you confess to things that no sane person would, and online (Blogs), it is funny that sitting behind a screen people think that they are anonymous and get shocked when their lives are taken apart. Not I quoth I. I am expecting things to be taken apart, I want people to think, they might not agree with me but dammit they will read it and it will be planted in their psyches. 😀
Doing what on thought was best for one at the time with the knowledge one had at that specific time, any other occasion would have been second guessing ones self and this is what we call hindsight 20/20 and also a catch 22 damned if you do damned if you do not situation. But with confessions sometimes there are things we never tell them, things we bury in the caverns of our souls so deep, things locked away that have never to see the light or be revealed these are the things we can never confess, and should never confess, and that is why we can never be 100% honest no matter how much we vow to be so.
Sometimes when one wakes up on the wrong side of the bed which appears to be the only side that there is, you just want to rip people to shreds, and that happens often in this town of contradictions, one keeps on saying to ones self, no, I will not let hate in my heart, and oddly enough you change your mind and you say come on in, and with hate comes its entourage petty, shallow & vindictive and it turns into a full-blown rave there in your head, you should embrace it, because internalising causes cancer.
One trie to forgive but not forget and repeat it constantly (you know we are fooled into thinking it works), but that is a game of diminishing returns. And in most cases it is not a game of chess but dominoes stacked, because with chess one victory, with dominoes a ripple effect, when one falls it knocks down the others. And hey, what is the point of trying to change when the damend world remains the same. But one also shouldn’t be obsessed unles one really wants to destroy what you nurtured.
On Boredom, that my dears the greatest obstacle in life it isn’t danger as most people think, the battle against boredom results in most world events, and if it is about survival isn’t a little agony worth it.
On ove and weakness, aka Tenderness is a weakness, the minute you love the world has something to use against you.
On people denying problems, O dearie dearie me, with some of their problems and do not deny you do not have any, you make Lindsey Lohan the paragon of responsibility.
On Grief, you see Grief is a funny thing, a scary thing because if you were dealing with simple greed it would be easy, greed can bought and anger cooled (sometimes) but Grief never….
On people assuming they know your mind I have this to say:
You do not want to traipse and get lost in mind, it is a dark and terrifying place filled with venemous things that go bump in the dark, the difference is I know how to bump right back whereas others will get sucked into the vortex of misery and despair, while I bounce along the river of desolation in my rubber tire smirking, for I am a darque shadow and shadows do not sin…..
And with those musing and ramblings I leave you for now…
Here are some images tolighten the mood….
Have a good week…..
Man as a dress up doll who wouldn’t want that.. 😀
Eye see you (my mkup & photography film not digital).
Before Tatu there was this concept….
My Goth Queen….
Hala D. as seen by me.
Asmahan my inspiration sometimes.
Mark my yardstick for masculinity
A couple of illustrations