Here we go again. Musings on life and anything in-between!
The title is quote of a friend of mine who said it to me. Thinking I would be moved into action from my stagnant and non-existent love-life, my draught, my lack of human contact of the romantic kind.
Well, my answer is here as follows:
It has been said to me time and again that I should get a relationship, or at least get laid. Some of you even suggested that I acted as if I am in mourning (well, I am and life is not a happy place to be!) seriously!
I am not in mourning I am just picky, I do not settle and I have not found anyone who really gives me Stendahl Syndrome (look it up!). 😀
You have to realise that I am not ordinary, can’t think mundane, and I refuse to settle. Yes, I get frustrated when I know I am worth millions and yet somehow people try and persist in their attempts to make me feel worth nothing. Well that just is NOT going to happen.
I lived, I survived, and if anyone of you have been through the various hells I have been or just a fraction of it, I would like to see how well you would survive!
I have seen two of my relationships end because of death the first from Cancer and the other from a car accident which I was in too, both died in my arms (I know a lot of you don’t know this, even my family didn’t until now!). I picked myself up, a shade more realistic and a bit more cynical about life. I have seen friends die from that dreaded disease with a small name, I have seen friends and family struck down by cancer some survived and some did not.
The whole idea that sex or relationship is a band-aid for all ills is such a wrong one. Actually it is quite the opposite, the nerve of some people to come up to me and say you are bitter because you don’t have some one in your life, to which I reply yes, I want to see how you are doing in a couple of weeks when you get dumped! The nerve!
Moving on, I find the fact that our divorce rates are so high interesting! So much for the theories of it lasting forever! So you were sold the dream of the complete package of happiness only to be divorced after a year or maybe you were with them for more than 2o years and you were exchanged for a younger model, am I being realistic enough for you guys, I can go on and in more detail, but I will not you get the picture.
Why would I set myself up with someone whom I deem unworthy, why would I want to go through that specific type of hell. I have enough stress without that in my life too.
At my age I do not see any reason for that nasty filthy word COMPROMISE to let itself be insinuated into my life, it just spells a loss on one side. Also with the fact I have lived alone for the last several years, I cannot let myself share things with anyone.
The whole idea of having to cater to other peoples fragile ego just irks me and riles me to an anger and irritation of phenomenal proportions, why would I want to put myself through that. “Love” is a four letter word, and my type of personality you either hate or you adore, the idea of someone being hopelessly in “love” with me is quaint, it amuses me to no end, why? Because it is a faerie tale, it is a work of fiction this “love” business, I can handle the meatier things such as “like”,, “lust”, and “obsession” but this concept of love that just goes beyond me! I will quote a very wise woman who said to me when I was young: “Ha! LOVE! Love is like the measles you catch it once and then you are both cured and immune!” (My Grandmother).
I look around me and I see all these people scrambling and stressing and being foolish, all in the name of “Love” so to them I say Keep your love away from me, I do not want it and I do not need it. I get my emotional stability and instability from my friends (and their dramas too), and if it was all about the sex well that is also easy to get, just making ones self available is all it takes, sorry but that is my truth of it, no I am not sorry actually it is my truth and how I see things! My world welcome to it, and if you don’t like it move along!
People tell me I am wasted on the society in this town, they say I have too much talent, am too knowledgeable, to too much for a small place like Amman. I say I am not the only one! There are myriads of others, and their talent would impress anyone on a world-wide scale, but the difference is my life-experience, I repeat again and again, that I am not clever but am lucky to possess something infinitely more useful called street smarts, and that has helped me sift out the garbage in my life, people who are leeches and psychic vampires, the ones who try and bring me down, the ones who try and belittle me and my achievements. And unfortunately for them I do have a brain and am capable of giving them a resounding tongue lashing of the likes they have never seen. They are not used to people sounding off and getting in their faces which I do so well.
So to you my well-meaning friends, I appreciate the effort that you guys have put into thinking about my “situation” but thanks I can make myself miserable. And to those lovely persons who say I should meet a friend of yours because they are of the same persuasion well, not everyone gets along, so please take step back and look at me and my personality before subjecting your hapless friends to my scorn or worse still they might be subjected to indifference.
Well that’s that for now.
You all have a great week! 😀
Hormonally yours am I! 😀